When u get in yo 30s n 40s, Trying to make new friends and maintaining those relationships hard as fuck.
Its no longer jus.. “Hey! I’m here, U here let’s kick it!
U ask a mofuca how they doin and they tell u all the shit they doin in life.. “Oh I just went to Japan and I got a raise at my job, Daughter just graduated shes goin to College to become a RN blah, blah..
No Bitch I said “How are YOU doin..
It’s always A contest, A comparing and contrasting of lives.. My biological clock is ticking I ain’t even married yet, Thy look so happy I want that, Yes I work at a Fortune 500, Sure let me check my schedule maybe we can do brunch, Damn I wish we didn’t have all these kids when yall gone have 1?
Mothafucas be having Designer Clothes, n pocketbooks, But be on Anti depressents. You talk or hang out with a old friend and reminisce, Have banter like old times but then reality sets in and u see yall both are worlds apart and two totally different beings now..
My old childhood friend Courtney committed suicide last year. She went by the the lake and shot herself, She was only 28. I reached out to her via FB a long time ago but she never got back, Then I hear this shit..Like damn girl.
Adulthood can make u feel so alone at times. Like u aint got nobdy to talk to or u have to present yourself as some perfect being without faults or U afraid to take responsibility for those faults so u present to the world a false narrative.
I had bad blood with my “Best friend” ..and after hearing of Courtney’s death I reached out to him to reconcile and we kicked it. Im like yay!! I got a friend back with my dumb ass… We catching up, Vibing like old times ..But then shit went sour real quick, When his jealousy kicked in, When the inability to express how he truly felt kicked in, When the fun and games were over.
I’m being real with him and expressing how I felt like I do with everybody but he clammed up. See when u an adult u have to have real conversations with people and alot of times people shy away from that real shit. I have four brothers and a long lost sister (more on that later smh) but my closest brother said “I act like he don’t exist” Cuz mothafuca u don’t. U a got damn 40 year old man with a 13 year old daughter and no pot to piss in, Bumming off anybody who willing to feel sympathy for yo ass. It’s mostly desperate, thirsty white girls n shit.. and I’m suppose to respect tht cuz we got history? I can’t do it.
We aint Kids no more but alot of adults still have a kids mentality. We crave attention in different ways, We post on social media so everyone can see how great our fake lives are. U no how u may no a person through n through? No they don’t brush they teeth in the morn and hygiene just fuckin terrible among other things, But all they other friends and acquaintances don’t no that side because they never lived with the mothafuca?..
Then u call em out on tht BS and they get defensive.
Use to can’t wait to be Grown..
But now u surrounded by fake mothafucas all the Got damn time.